Who do you love? Are you for sure? Which brings to mind a special friend of mine who has been by my side despite my screw ups for years. He actually resembles Bernard Wright in the video with the similiar hair do and the same wonderful smile. He is creative, intelligent and honest. Mr. X always asks me these two questions in many different ways. To answer your questions Mr. X, I dont know and I am never for sure. When I ask him these two questions his answers are quick and they seem definite. So, Why do I keep running? He is unashamed and unapologetic for the way he feels. When I felt I needed time to think which turned into years he let me go and never made me feel pressured or bad for wanting to be "free" of love. With him I know the love is real. When I act out he looks at me and laughs. I use to storm out and drive home mad trying to figure out why I could not get a rise out of him.. Why does he not argue with me? When I was stressed and looking for a punching bag all I got was a hug. I convinced myself the relationship was boring because there was NO DRAMA. He was quiet except when we got into discussions of how beautiful life was.. He would go on and on about all the countries he visited and what herbs he brought back along with holistic secrets. It was all about the positivity. I was not mature enough to appreciate the beauty and honestly. It was a reflection he wanted me to see that I could not see because it was not a reflection of me which was Selfish, controlling and angry at the time. I needed bombs to drop and the ground to shake. He needed the heavens to shine and the flowers to bloom. Hopefully one day I would be able to be like him and answer Who do I love? and am I for sure?
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