CountDown To Valentines Day

Who do you love? Are you for sure? Which brings to mind a special friend of mine who has been by my side despite my screw ups for years. He actually resembles Bernard Wright in the video with the similiar hair do and the same wonderful smile. He is creative, intelligent and honest.  Mr. X always asks me these two questions in many different ways. To answer your questions Mr. X, I dont know and I am never for sure. When I ask him these two questions his answers are quick and they seem definite. So, Why do I keep running? He is unashamed and unapologetic for the way he feels. When I felt I needed time to think which turned into years he let me go and never made me feel pressured or bad for wanting to be "free" of love.  With him I know the love is real. When I act out he looks at me and laughs. I use to storm out and drive home mad trying to figure out why I could not get a rise out of him.. Why does he not argue with me? When I was stressed and looking for a punching bag all I got was a hug. I convinced myself the relationship was boring because there was NO DRAMA. He was quiet except when we got into discussions of how beautiful life was.. He would go on and on about all the countries he visited and what herbs he brought back along with holistic secrets. It was all about the positivity. I was not mature enough to appreciate the beauty and honestly. It was a reflection he wanted me to see that I could not see because it was not a reflection of me which was Selfish, controlling and angry at the time. I needed bombs to drop and the ground to shake. He needed the heavens to shine and the flowers to bloom. Hopefully one day I would be able to be like him and answer Who do I love? and am I for sure?

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

I would rather u sit me down & tell me the truth about "anything" & "everything," than to continuously "lie" to me cause once I am turned off from u, there is no getting me to see u differently. Everything concealed eventually gets revealed. Lies & secrets hurt more than the truth & makes others mistrust u. So if u feel u have everyone fooled, remember u can hide from man but never ur conscience & God

                                                                             - My beautiful Cousin Lorraine Kerr

                                                    

This quote is powerful and comes from the heart. We all have experienced this which is why some of us are currently single and happy. People out there should know it is useless to lie. The truth will be revealed eventually, especially if you want to have a long term relationship with the one you lie to. It does not matter how small the lie is or how insignificant you deem it to be. A lie is a lie. I feel that it is worse when the lie is small, when a man tells me that the lie is insignificant and small... I then ask him.. Why? Why lie if it is of no significance. Why not just tell the truth? Pathological liars lie so much that they start to believe their own lies which makes them dangerous. Ladies stay clear of liars. Dont waste your time. A real man has no reason to lie. He is unashamed of who he is and comfortable with the fact that NO ONE is perfect. A man who tells you the truth no matter what, is a man who really loves and honors you. 

THE SEXIEST COACH IN THE NFL: Mike Tomlin

The million dollar smile....

Damn he is fine! oooh this is the reason why I am watching the SuperBowl this sunday. I am a New York fan but since they are on vacation right now its okay to cheat.   Pittsburg Steelers coach Mr. Mike Tomlin is gorgeous and was voted 'Sexiest Coach' in the NFL, according to Victoria's Secret. Tomlin made the list in 2008 coming out on top. A Victoria's Secret panel based their decision on factors such as general attractiveness and charisma. In 2011 nothing has changed for Tomlin, he is still fine and on top.

Determined Terminator

Hanging with the Commander In Chief 

OBSESSED: Haters & Stalkers...

I did not mention any intention to violate my privacy on the part of Google.  My concern is not about the fact that I write a public blog and there is no restriction on who may visit and read it.  My concern is that tools I have in place to learn about my visitors has been bypassed by the "follow privately" option and Google reader.

I learned about my stalker because she admitted to how she was reading my blog in such a way that I would not know she was able to read my blog.  I use Sitemeter and Stattracker both as tools to keep track of visitors to my blog.  If I have followers who are following publicly, I assume they are reading my blog as well.  I could "block" any of those who follow publicly if I so choose.  In this case, Google does not allow me any option to disallow anonymous followers.  Nor can I "block" an anonymous reader because I do not know about their existence.  As for "knowing" anyone else, I see some statistics through sitemeter and stattracker.

I have been blogging for four years now.  I have worked in or closely with IT fields for more than 10 years.  I understand the concept that my blog is posted publicly.  What I did not expect, was that tools I could use to track visitors so that I could work on my own to maintain my anonymity could be rendered useless.  What I did not expect, was a loophole that could allow someone to read my blog without me ever having any knowledge about it.  This means people who want to be a blog writer, but have someone in their life who would use anything against them to hurt them, do not have any tools with which to protect themselves unless they want to have a private blog, and going private means a blog owner forgoes opportunities to attract new readers.  Sometimes this is not an acceptable trade off.

So my question, and what I really want to know, and what I really want to get to Google, is why is it not possible to close this loophole through which people can read blogs without being tracked in any way at all by the blog owner?  There are great tools to track visitors to the blog itself.  The public followers are tracked because they have let the owner know they are "following".  Why is it possible for anyone to be able to follow a blog and the owner never knows about it?  This does not have to be an option provided by Google, and I think it has more potential for harm than help.


-Posted by Blogger Steel Horseman (I feel you brother)



OBSESSED
(To disable music to enjoy MC scrowl to the bottom of page and press pause)




" I was like, Why are you so obsessed with me?" -MC

Recently I have come across the topic of haters and stalkers.  One thing that I do not understand is when someone has moved on from a relationship with it being clear they do not want anything to do with the person. Why do some resort to harassing? What is wrong with these people. Why do they contact your family? Why do they interfere with your work? Why? I know it is a sign of being deeply sick and plain out psychotic. What is worse and sad is if the person is  much older with children that deserves all of their attention. Why keep trying to communicate with someone who does not want to communicate? I feel when a person has become this desperate they become dangerous. Haters and Stalkers need to realize that people have the right to move on with their lives. The person that you are stalking does not have to respond to you, engage you or even be nasty to you. That person has the right to be silent. Your persistence in terrorizing confirms that it was smart and necessary for the person to severe ALL ties. Especially if the person is walking away with no intentions of wanting to hurt, hate or cause the hater/stalker any type of pain. The person simple wants to be left alone and unharmed. For all those people out there being stalked.. My prayers go out to you.


To the haters/stalkers please leave your object of desire alone. It is not becoming of you. You do look like a fool and frankly crazy. You are scaring people. It will be embarrassing to end up in jail over stalking someone who does not want to have anything to do with you. According to the law the stalked need an X amount of proof or damage before the hater/stalker can be served. Sometimes the hater/stalker would want to call on God or the law themselves because when you contact family or friends of your object, you may find an undesirable reaction from the family or friends. Back to the law: The law is great in certain states because all you have to do is collect all the emails, they trace URLs(goody!), the proof of contact with family (particularly the young ones), emails to addresses that were never forwarded to them or given to them hence it being illegal to posses. I did my research and this handsome police officer gave me the rundown and swore protection for me or anyone who has hater/stalkers on their backs. I warn all you hater/stalkers out there to pray. Dont feel defeated or angry. Hater/stalkers you brought this on yourself. Stop before it gets to a place where you are the criminal publicly, losing everything. It is not worth it. Use the stalking time to work on yourselves improving your mental health and to contribute to the growth of your family.

Dont see it as a failure that you can't have the last word. Change your perspective, learning from the relationship and take full responsibility for why it may not have worked.. Maybe due to your psychotic behavior. I am sure the harassed have taken full responsibility of their transgressions thus making the decision to move on without contact. Take this as proof that you have issues that goes to the extent to make people feel scared and uncomfortable. This is not honorable and you would not want someone to do this to your mother, sisters or children. Have dignity and move on. Life is great and often short. Dont waste your time on wasting time.
<BLESSED>

C'Mon Man Stop Being Crazy Its Scary!!!!
Cartoon courtesy of great artist Chad Baldwin

HELP for the stalked: ADVICE FROM ANNY JACOBY. 
(*Which I have taken very  seriously*)

STALKING IS A CRIME!

Once you’ve been a victim, you know how life-destroying stalking can be.

What Can You Do If You Are Bein g Stalked?

There are no easy answers to this question. First and foremost, you should always think about yoursafety. Here are some other things to consider:

• Report the stalking to your local law enforcement agency. While officers may not have enough evidence to arrest the stalker, it is important to develop this “official” record of the stalking behavior. If a law enforcement report is made, the information may become public.
• Some stalkers believe there are hidden messages within conversations they have with their victims that encourage them to continue the stalking. Some experts suggest that if your stalker is a former intimate partner or someone who believes you want to be in a relationship, you must be clear and firm early on about wanting to end the relationship. The longer the relationship goes on, the harder it is for the stalker to get the message that you are not interested.
• If the stalking has continued for a long time, some believe it is best for the victim to cease all communication with the stalker. Instead, let the “system” communicate with him through a law enforcement officer, probation officer, or through a protection order.
• A protection from stalking order may or may not be effective in ending the stalking. These orders may be most effective if issued when the stalking behavior first begins. They also appear to be most effective in communities where violations of the order are taken very seriously by law enforcement, prosecutors, and judges. If these situations do not apply to you, you may want to consider whether a protection order will help or hurt your situation. Call your local domestic violence/sexual assault programs in your state/county for further information and for a brochure explaining how to get a protection from stalking order.
• In some situations, further contact between the victim and the stalker, tends to encourage the stalker. Therefore, if you can, try to avoid the following:
  - mediation
  - joint therapy
  - shared custody
  - face-to-face child exchanges
  - protection orders (which will require a face-to-face hearing)
• Keep a log of all stalking behaviors, including the following (see Incident Log below):
  - date of incident
  - times and places the incidents occurred
  - description of stalking behavior
  - witnesses to the incident
• If you believe you may be in imminent danger, develop a safety plan, taking into consideration the following:
  - critical phone numbers, such as law enforcement, friends, domestic violence or sexual assault programs
  - critical phone numbers and contact information for other important people or services you may need after reaching a safe location, such as neighbors, attorneys, prosecutors, medical care, child care, or pet care
  - keep a reserve of necessities in case you have to leave your home quickly, such as a suitcase in the trunk of your car or at a friend’s house; include money, medication, toys or items important to the children
  - consider having important documents such as passports, immigration documents, birth certificates, and social security numbers readily accessible
  - alert people who may be part of your safety plan, such as law enforcement, employers, family, friends, neighbors, or security personnel
• Consider whether any of the following measures would help decrease or prevent some of the dangers connected to stalking:
  - installing solid core doors with dead bolts
  - changing locks, securing all spare keys
  - installing outside lighting
  - trimming bushes and vegetation around your residence
  - identifying locations that may be safe for you, such as police stations, residences of family/friends, local churches, or other public places
  - getting an unlisted number or, if you have financial means, using a “dummy” answering machine connected to your published phone line. The private or unlisted number can be reserved for close friends or family and the stalker may not realize you have another line
  - varying travel routes and other routines
  - limiting time walking or jogging alone
  - informing a trusted neighbor about the situation and, if possible, giving them a description or a photo of the stalker, asking them to call law enforcement if they see anything unusual
• Sexual assault and domestic violence programs may be able to provide you with additional help and information. The Stalking Resource Center can also provide you with information on stalking.

If you are in danger, call 911.

Anny is a Survivor of Domestic Violence with many years as a Certified Advocate. She firmly believes that EVERY female has the absolute right to protect and defend herself mentality, emotionally, spiritually and ultimately physically.
Anny received her PDR (Personal Defense Readiness) Instructor Certification in 2008.
www.annyjacoby.com
www.realisticfemaleselfdefense.com
www.projectsafegirls.com
anny@annyjacoby.com

AFRO OF THE MOMENT: BEYONCE

When B does it she does it bigger and better. This isis Queen rocks her halo sun dipped and seductive.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there- -Will Rogers

A positive, healthy sense of self-value and -worth is the foundation of our happiness and success. When we know who we are and believe it, our greatest dreams are possible. When we doubt ourselves, question our worth, and undermine our self- value, our greatest victory will be worthless. Affirm "I am my greatest hero." That is really where it all starts. We must believe in who we are and what we do. We must look up to and trust ourselves to make it through the difficulties knowing that we can. Only we can truly appreciate and celebrate our own success. We are equipped and capable of getting to where we want to be. If we have any doubts, we can always hold our own hand.
                                                                                                                  -Goddess Iyanla Vanzant
                                                                                    


Say it loud: I now create a positive pattern of self-worth because I believe I AM the best.


<BLESSED>

Diva In Distress ALERT: Halle Berry The Streets Are Watching....

As most have heard already, Halle Berry is in a heated custody battle over her baby girl with her ex Gabriel Aubry since they split last April.  The current redundant headlines in the media all state that Halle B is hating on Kim Kardashian. REALLY? YAWN... STRETCH.. WHATEVER.. We all also know that LiL ole hot Kim was seen with Aubry at a Lakers game last November which struck me as tacky. I immediately smelled a rat and figured it to be a publicity stunt that could create buzz for both parties.  Kim likes chocolate. PERIOD. Gabriel Aubry is a ex Calvin Klein model that became a household name from lining Ms. Berry womb, he needed a buzz hit quick. However this is all coming back to haunt him. The Oscar winning actress is not green with envy over the media whore Kim K who currently switches men out her mouth like blow pops since the Reggie Bush debacle. Sources quote "Halle couldnt careless who Gabriel dates"  HB is upset that her daughter, Nahla may have been exposed to reality cameras via Kim Kardashian who she sees unfit to tote her princess due to her rise to fame which involves a sex tape with Ray J.(*NASTY*)

(*NASTY*)

The breaking news is that sources close to the pair are now stating that Aubry called HB the "N" word during heated arguments. They claim they have audio, text messages and emails. I suspect HB is mad and we all know she is a drama queen. This leak maybe directly from the beautiful, hit and run, Monster's Ball star. I think she felt cheapen by his appearance with KK --How dare he be seen with a reality tv chick! Im Halle Berry Bitches! type attitude which is going to destroy their daughter when she gets old enough to read this crap. Remember when she sent barefoot Eric Benet to sex therapy PUBLICLY!?? You cant "F" word with HB... she's a lil crazy. And yall know HB is not going out like that. She will be kicking and punching all the way. Gabriel Aubry should just go back to modeling underwear and leave the publicity stunts for the real Celebrities.

The desperate lean in to be seen.. Moms dont look 2 happy

Halle Berry likes the drama.. The diva long list of dysfunctional hunks:

Christopher Williams who allegedly contributed to HB being partially deaf in her left ear.

David Justice who was accused of abusing HB

Eric Benet who publicly went to Rehab for a "Sex Addiction" to salvage their marriage

When times were good

New Beau... Oliver Martinez. He is gorgeous and I hope this goes well.